Long distance relationships come with inherent challenges. Knowing that someone you love is far away can be considered the complete opposite of an ideal relationship. This is why many couples tend to end up making the big decision to relocate just to be with their loved one.
The question now is, who should relocate? It’s not an easy question especially between two independent individuals. Each person has their own set of ideas, goals, and inclinations. Moving your life in a different city or even country is a monumental step for any person. What kind of considerations should a couple in a long distance relationship make before deciding on who should relocate for the other.
Measuring the distance 📏🌍
Before even buying that plane ticket, couples must first assess the health of their long-distance relationship. By knowing the reason behind the LDR, couples will have a clear picture of the situation. Understanding the significance of why two people are living in their respective locations in the first place can be a great first step in knowing who between the two could relocate.
If one party is overseas for work, they must know how long the contract is and what parameters were set. Get a good grasp of the situation so you can have all the facts when deciding.
Setting objectives 🎯✅
Closing the physical distance is the easy part. What comes next is the real challenge. LDR couples must have a sense of purpose especially as they plan their eventual reunion. A relationship is more than just companionship and romance, it’s also being able to support each other as they progress in their respective passions and careers.
Talk with your special other about their life plans. Discuss with each other the best way to merge your plans together. Find common goals and objectives in life. It could be owning a new place, getting that promotion at work, setting up a business, or simply getting a new dog. By setting objectives, couples allow themselves to explore the possibility of knowing who among them could benefit more from relocating.
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Weighing all factors ⚖
Between the couple, they must determine how the move will affect each other’s lives. How will it affect their job, social circle, family, religious community, and others? While your long-distance relationship is a priority, your other relationships, such as those with coworkers, the church, or family relatives also matter when it comes to your decision to move.
Financial security and flexibility is also a tremendous factor. As much as we can be excited about being reunited with our loved one, we must also know the practicalities surrounding the move and how prepared you both are as a couple to support this major life decision.
Deciding on the one ✔✖
Ultimately there is no one sure way in deciding who should relocate. Honest and open discussion between the couple will help both of them reach a clear and informed decision as to who should make the move. Know who is more flexible but at the same time, understand what is negotiable and non-negotiable in terms of the parameters of the situation.
Whoever is doing the move, both people in the relationship must do an equal amount of work in supporting each other. Knowing that both of you can rely on each other after this major decision can be a great way to strengthen your relationship.
Maintain open communication. Once you commit yourselves to each other, learn to balance flexibility and structure in your relationship. This way, regardless of who relocates, the success of your relationship after the long-distance relationship phase is ensured.
Who do you think should relocate? And why? Share your thoughts with us on Instagram.
Sam and Jared
Co Authors, The #LDR Activity Book