How to Avoid Jealousy and Doubt in a Long Distance Relationship
Trust may form the foundation of any relationship, especially those that take place across the country or around the world. However, jealousy and doubt are unfortunately common side effects of not seeing your significant other every day. These tips to avoid and overcome negative feelings can help you strengthen your bond and survive even when things get rough.
What Causes Jealousy and Doubt in a LDR?
Long distance relationships come with higher degrees of jealousy in doubt than ones in which you can see your partner every day or at least every week. These feelings usually come from a place of insecurity either in yourself or due to your partner's words and actions. Without regular face-to-face reassurance, negativity can grow like a mushroom in the dark. The following tips will help you overcome, adapt, and thrive in a LDR.
Five Doubt-Busting Tips for Controlling Jealousy
You need actionable steps to get rid of jealousy and doubt as much as possible. These healthy options can alleviate a lot of the stress that comes with any long distance relationship.
1 – Figure Out the Real Reason for Doubt
Are you jealous of your partner's success, happiness, or opportunities that seem to exist without you? Do you doubt their commitment because of things they actually do or say? Or do the problems stem from your own insecurity or feelings of dissatisfaction with the relationship? Making a long distance bond work involves a lot of introspection.
2 – Get the Feelings Out in the Open
Keep lines of communication open. If your jealousy or doubt grows unchecked, it could spell disaster for the LDR. Talk with each other about the feelings that arise and how you can handle them together. Your partner may not automatically understand how a late text or story about a fun time out with a friend group makes you feel. Stay honest and open without confronting them about every little thing. After all, your happiness is primarily your own responsibility.
3 – Redirect Thoughts From Catastrophe to Reality
Every time jealousy starts to rise up, redirect your subconscious negativity from the worst-case scenario to reality. Perhaps your boyfriend didn't call at 8 o'clock as he said he would. Instead of imagining him cheating or forgetting about you entirely, take a deep breath and learn the truth before you react.
4 – Create and Follow Reasonable Expectations
Do not leave communication, visits, or personal boundaries to chance in a long distance relationship. Discuss clear expectations that align with both of your lifestyles and schedules. For example, two phone calls a day seems excessive while calling whenever you have time is too open-ended. Layout a plan for communication, intimacy, and discuss exclusivity and what that means to both of you.
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5 – Reassure, Reaffirm, and Renegotiate
Part of talking openly with your significant other about the relationship and feelings involves giving and asking for reassurance that the feelings of love and commitment haven't faded. Asking, "What can we do to make our bond stronger?" is a mature and effective way of making sure that bond will grow. If necessary, renegotiate contact schedules, visits, boundaries, and other agreed-upon factors that make the relationship work.
How do you avoid jealousy and doubt in your long distance relationship? We would love to hear more tips, message us on Instagram. 💚
Sam and Jared ♥
Co Authors, The #LDR Activity Book