10 Long Distance Relationship Statistics

Every couple and relationship is unique, but that doesn't mean there aren't common themes and things to watch out for that tie them together.

A heads-up before we start: the internet is full of LDR "statistics" that trace back to nowhere (if you've seen "couples visit each other 1.5 times a month" — nobody can find the study 🕵️). So we rebuilt this list from scratch. Every stat below comes from a real study, survey, or government dataset, and we've linked each source so you can check our homework.

Stat #1: Nearly 4 million married Americans live apart from their spouse. That's the U.S. Census Bureau's count of people who are "married, spouse absent" (2023) — and it doesn't even include unmarried couples doing distance. If you're in an LDR, you are very far from alone.

Stat #2: About one-third of college students in a relationship are doing it long distance. A 2020 campus survey of over 2,000 students found 34.2% of romantically involved students were in an LDR — and here's the kicker: their relationship happiness, commitment, and conflict levels were no different from couples in the same place. Older research suggests up to 75% of college students have an LDR at some point.

Stat #3: Long distance couples can actually be MORE intimate than couples in the same city. A 2013 study in the Journal of Communication had couples keep diaries of every interaction, and long distance couples reported greater interaction-by-interaction intimacy — they shared more, and worked harder at it. Absence really can make communication grow fonder.

Stat #4: LDR couples also score higher on relationship quality and dedication. A study of 870 people (Family Process, 2013) found people in long distance relationships reported better relationship quality and more dedication than same-city couples — and were no more likely to have broken up at follow-up.

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Stat #5: The famous "⅓ break up after closing the distance" stat is real — here's the actual study. Researchers tracking college LDR couples found that of those who moved to the same place, one-third broke up within 3 months of reuniting (Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2006). The same study found about half of LDR couples never manage to close the distance at all. What's the secret to beating this one? Exactly what we teach in our book: alignment and expectation-setting before the U-Haul.

Stat #6: In a 2018 survey, 58% of Americans who'd been in an LDR said it worked out. That's from a OnePoll survey of 1,000 people with LDR experience. Better-than-a-coin-flip odds — and that's the average across couples who winged it.

Stat #7: "Long distance" officially starts at 132 miles (says the internet's only real survey on it). The same 2018 survey asked respondents where "long distance" begins: 132 miles on average. It also found LDR couples averaged 343 texts a week and around 8 hours of calls or video chat. How does your couple compare? 📱

Stat #8: The 4-month mark is the hardest — and it gets easier after 8. Also from the 2018 OnePoll survey: couples said month four was the toughest point, but distance felt easier to manage after month eight. If you're in the messy middle right now — keep going. Our book was designed to get couples through exactly this stretch.

Stat #9: More couples than ever start out long distance, because more couples than ever meet online. 39% of U.S. couples now meet online (Stanford, PNAS 2019) — it's the #1 way couples meet — and Pew found 1 in 10 partnered adults met their partner on a dating app (2 in 10 under age 30). When you meet online, there's a decent chance you don't live in the same city. Welcome to the club 👋

Stat #10: 58% of young singles say they'd start a relationship with someone 3+ hours away. From Match's Singles in America study (2022, with the Kinsey Institute). Distance is officially not the dealbreaker it used to be — the tools got better, and honestly, so did the playbooks.

The takeaway

The research is surprisingly optimistic: long distance couples match or beat same-city couples on intimacy, quality, and dedication. The genuinely risky moments are the messy middle (months 4–8) and closing the distance — which is why we built The #LDR Activity Book around alignment, expectations, and actually knowing each other deeply before you're sharing a bathroom. Learn more about the Co-Authors here.

♥️ Sam and Jared